As we all use dating apps and text/email/Facebook and Instagram to find love, but might you be saying too much?
Studies have found that most things are best said in person, especially if the tone of the conversation is questionable.
When first meeting someone on an online app, best to have fun, easy-going conversations and leave the rest to the in-person meeting. Here are a number of reasons why:
1. While someone may seem “safe” you truly don’t know. There are many wolves in sheep’s clothing, inclusive of married people, scammers, and undesirables online and you really have no clue of what is behind the photographs and bio.
2. I had an experience many years ago on an online dating service where I couldn’t hide. This was even before apps were invented. It was just email and the phone. Fifteen years ago, you couldn’t block a phone call. Now you can. Be careful of what you say because Mr. or Miss Crazy could be behind that wall.
3. Chemistry plays a huge role in attraction, as you know. Why divulge your innermost thoughts and fears to a complete stranger who, there is a 50% chance of having chemistry or not with them?
4. While we may strive to be vulnerable, honest and forthright-not everyone is. The person on the other end may be making up a story as they go along. This actually happened recently to me. I asked the guy if he was married, separated or divorced. It’s always my first question. At first, he said he was separated, and when I text back and asked for how long, he then changed his tune to divorced. My next reply was “I’m confused. Are you separated or married?” I got instantly swiped because I guess I had caught him in a lie and knew I was on to him. Thank you for saving me time, my unknown friend.
5. Don’t give away the farm. If you feel you click with someone do not, and I repeat, do not tell all. This isn’t an episode of The Bachelor Tells All. Allow someone to earn that right-and make sure they are also meeting you halfway! I did this with someone and when we met, I didn’t even recognize the man, that’s how different he was in person and there was zero attraction. Besides, I felt duped and as we all know, starting off feeling duped can only lead to a downhill ski slope.
Lori Mendelsohn is a matchmaker in the Milwaukee area. Her business is www.smartfunnysingle and she has over a dozen marriages under her belt with one engagement pending. She uses her intuition and knowledge of the human condition to match singles.