Calvin is outside whining in his little outdoor tent today. He was so eager to go out there, and now he spotted me and is whining to get back in the house. (Even pets benefit from The Purposeful Parent!) Using my special ‘firm but loving tone,’ I call to him, “Hey buddy, you asked to […]
Author Archives: Kate Martin
Posted inThe Purposeful Parent
Rituals ground our children with loving nostalgia
We first ran this story back in October 2017 but we wanted readers to reconnect with it. Don’t underestimate the power of placing that ornamental display in the exact same place on the mantel every December. Don’t disregard the importance of getting the string of pink hearts out of the closet on February 14th. Don’t […]
Posted inThe Purposeful Parent
The Purposeful Parent: Crying, Cranky, and Clinging
Imagine that you are sitting comfortably on your living room couch with the person you care most about in all the world sitting very close to you. You feel both emotionally and physically connected to this person. They help you feel comfortable, joyful, and safe. While you are enjoying the peace that comes with just […]
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The Purposeful Parent: You’re too little to have real feelings…
“I’m sorry honey, but you’re not real yet and so we don’t have to honor your pretend feelings.” On many occasions I have observed adults making very callous and curt comments to children. I’ve seen teachers and parents act out right rude to a child and then turn to extend kindness to an adult. It […]
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The Purposeful Parent: Homework vs Home Play
Homework, huh, yeah What is it good for? Absolutely nuthin, uh! If you are not familiar with music from the 70’s you may not appreciate this ‘hysterically’ funny reference from Edwin Star’s hit song ‘War.’ For me it provides a perfect opening to an article about the grand myths of that time-sucker of a beast […]
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The Purposeful Parent: A family plan for digital devices-‘Screen Smarts’
I am a digital immigrant. I do my best to fit in and access the many benefits of the fast paced, ever changing technological world. However, teenagers and tweens find the sound of my digital talk to be hilarious! Evidently I have a crazy accent! I’m not alone. Parents approximately 35 years and older will […]
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The Purposeful Parent: Back To School Special
It’s back to school and have I got a deal for you! As a teacher of middle and high school students for 27 years I have become pretty knowledgeable about family practices in the homes of teenage students. I’ve spent years observing parents doing things that work for teens as well as things that don’t […]
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The Purposeful Parent: Now I lay me down to sleep…
Now I lay me down to sleep … Many of us are familiar with this opening line to a standard children’s bedtime prayer. It started out so peaceful and usually closed with invocations for blessings for those we love. Comforting and harmless, right? Well, I don’t know about you, but there was a part in […]
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The Purposeful Parent: Modeling Kindness-It’s A Two Way Street
One of the best ways to teach children a fundamental character trait such as kindness is to model it, and today we invite you to consider this process as a “two way street”. Children have magical lessons to teach us. If we can get to a place where we are willing to listen, they can […]
Posted inLife, The Purposeful Parent
The Purposeful Parent: Let Whatever You Don’t Want For Your Children Be A Non Issue
This delightful quote comes from best selling author and international speaker Esther Hicks, and it applies to adults as well as children. Let whatever you don’t want in life be a non-issue! How very liberating, right? So very simple and yet so very powerful! When we look at raising our children from this perspective parenting […]
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The Purposeful Parent: Less TO & FOR and WITH a Little More!
As I continue to work with groups of parents as well as individuals, I find that many adults are committing to more activities outside of the home. In addition to a full time job, some are also involved in volunteer work, part-time jobs, higher education, and hobbies. All of these extras are fine as long […]
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The Purposeful Parent: Child Expectations
How much should we expect of our children with regard to self-care and contribution to the family as a toddler, as a young child, as a teenager, and as an adult? This is an ongoing dilemma for most all parents beginning as early as post-infancy and continuing on through adulthood. It is the basis for […]
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The Purposeful Parent: Hocus Pocus—They Flipped the Focus
Sometimes children and adults use manipulative strategies to avoid responsibility. Today we are introducing one such trick which uses ‘slight of mind’ to quickly switch the focus off of one person and on to another. We refer to this mental magic trick as ‘Flipping the Mirror.’ When a person is confronted with changing a behavior, […]
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The Purposeful Parent: Psychologically Based Myth Busting for Parents
Myth #3— Parents should reward children for good behavior. False. Punishment and rewards are simply opposite sides of the same coin. Both are forms of manipulation and both are responsible for teaching children that control lies somewhere outside of us rather than within. —Much like punishment, rewards can give the appearance of changing behavior for […]
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Purposeful Parent: Psychological Based Myth Busting For Parents #2
Today we present the 2nd myth in the series entitled ‘Psychologically based myth busting for parents!’ Myth #2— Punishment is necessary to make children behave. False. Punishment is quite simply ineffective and counter productive. It can have life-long damaging effects and ironically is often responsible for promoting and creating the very behaviors we hope to avoid […]