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Many of us struggle with breaking up with someone. While never easy, it’s necessary for self-growth, ultimate happiness, and our overall health.

Staying in a relationship which depletes you, makes you sad, angry or fearful robs us of what we need to survive and thrive. Being with the wrong person is far worse than being alone-I can tell you this from experience.

Here are the steps I’ve taken when I have had to leave someone:

  • Be honest and truthful with yourself first. Make sure you have tried everything to work out your issues, which could include therapy for yourself or with your partner. If you have reached an impasse, wait. If you are sure that nothing can be salvaged, then proceed. You can’t undo words or actions. You don’t want to regret it.
  • Be honest. Trust me, this person knows that it’s coming and won’t be blindsided. They may want to be out of the relationship as much as you and maybe conflict adverse. You may be doing them a favor!
  • Once the relationship is over, give yourself time to grieve. It’s imperative that you take time to reflect on what happened in the romance and what you learned. Another good thing is to start doing things that you have put off because you were involved with someone, but something that fuels your soul and spirit-like working out again or traveling.
  • Make a list of what you want next. Be concise. Write out what your MUST HAVE’S are and what your NON-NEGOTIABLE traits are. This will help you in the future when you are ready to date again. Refer to this list when you begin the process again and ask yourself if the person who you are dating has what you want and need.
  • Don’t fall into a romance right away. Please go slowly. Take the necessary time to figure out what you ultimately want, and then manifest that person into your sphere.

Lori Mendelsohn is a professional matchmaker. With a knack for introducing people who wind up saying, “I do,” she can be reached at

Her website is