That awkward moment. The end of the date.
Do they like me? Should I kiss them? Do they want to see me again? What do I say or do?
It’s a quagmire of questions that can leave us feeling vulnerable. If we say something, it needs to be honest and if we don’t say something, the other party starts wondering– what happened?
1. What is your gut telling you? Generally, we can’t get away from it and if your gut is telling you to run, then run. Run fast, my friend! There have been many dates where I didn’t listen to my gut and I ran into issues shortly thereafter. Remember, we can’t make more time in our lives—time is the most precious commodity we have. It shouldn’t be wasted.
2. Kissing. This one is always a stumper unless the body language is so loud that you just want to “get a room!” If you are feeling that you made a strong connection, go in. Start slowly and see if the other person is responsive. If they are, then you can extend it, but ALWAYS leave the other person wanting more. This will certainly ensue a second date…which will make it easier for you to ask that person out again.
3. Be brutally honest. I know ending dates is hard, but if you seriously don’t ever want to see this person again, then don’t lead them on. A kind way to frame it is to say—“I enjoyed meeting you but I don’t feel the connection. I wish you the very best of luck in finding love and happiness.” Okay, if you are guy, you’ll have to reframe it, but you get the gist. If you DO want to see them again, tell them. And hopefully they will also be honest with you and either agree, or tell you that they don’t feel it’s a match. REMEMBER, it’s a numbers game and the more you date, the closer you’ll get to finding a great match.
4. Never ever, and I repeat NEVER ever say you are going to call someone and not call. Would you do this in a business relationship? It’s rude, it’s wrong and it’s unnecessary. I know it’s hard at times to be truthful, but trust me—people want to know where they stand. Women start beating themselves up OR, worse, start hating the male species. Men also don’t want their time wasted, so be honest, please. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
5. Always end the date on a high note. If you are in the city and someone needs an Uber, wait with them, especially if it’s a woman who needs a ride. Being a gentleman is paramount. If your date was smashing—send a text the next day to check in and confirm what a wonderful time you had. This sets the stage for other dates where you won’t need to worry about how they end.
Lori Mendelsohn is a local resident. She purposefully connects people both personally and professionally through her company SmartFunnySingle. Her intuitive skills guide her to introductions and that has resulted in many marriages. Nothing makes her happier using her true purpose in life.
If you have dating and relationship advice, feel free to email her at firstname.lastname@example.org. She is currently recruiting singles who wish to date amazing clients for dating leading to long-term relationships.
If you are a business owner and would like to sponsor this column, email Denise Lockwood at email@example.com.