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This blog is for those of you who are using dating apps to find love. And those who aren’t, let me share some stories.
This past week, I thought I would join another online app to see some new people come through my matches. I have been on Bumble for about a year, and in this time, I’ve met some terrific men. Sadly, none of them turned into anything more than friendship-both my doing and theirs, or mutually.
In this new app, it appeared to have a lot more potential dates and a decent quality of men. I was surprised that scammers have still figured out a way to sneak through the cracks. It’s almost funny-they start with a compliment about your amazing smile, and then profess love-will move anywhere to be with you and once you start engaging with them, their stories don’t match up. I’ve often wondered who does this and what they get out of it. Clearly someone with too much time on their hands.
So, while I am scrolling through the choices, it occurs to me that quantity may not work in our favor. It’s like ice cream. Years ago, there were maybe 12 different flavors. We were all satisfied with what was offered, but now, with 30+ flavors at our disposal, it becomes confusing. And even more so, difficult to decide. Imagine the burden of choosing someone to date and perhaps even make an emotional investment with?
The same holds true for these dating apps. Each day, one gets a new slew of potential paramours and as time goes on, the freshest one feels the most interesting. Mind you, only 3-5 days have passed and the original choices-who you may be corresponding with-seem passé. We all want the shiniest, newest, brightest and biggest Christmas ornament-why would it be any different in online dating?
The point to my babbling on is that we may all be doing ourselves a disservice by constantly looking at these apps. Okay, yes, it’s human nature to be inquisitive to see who “shows” up, but what happened to the fine art of time-tested dating-spending time conversing and getting to know someone before moving on to the next shiny ball?
Do YOU find yourself hooked on dating sites? Please share your story!
Lori Mendelsohn is a matchmaker in the Milwaukee area. Her business is www.smartfunnysingle and she has over a dozen marriages under her belt with one engagement pending. She uses her intuition and knowledge of the human condition to match singles.