I meet a lot of people in my line of work, and I talk to many who are already married, divorced, or are in unhappy relationships. I love to hear people’s stories because it cements my belief that we are all more similar than dissimilar.
Those who are in less than fulfilling relationships think the grass will be greener if they separate or divorce. But- I caution them-IT DEPENDS UPON WHAT TYPE OF GRASS YOU ARE SEEKING.
Dating in your 60’s is very different than dating in your earlier years. Let me tell you why:
- There was no such thing as the Me-Too Movement. I am happy there is such an outrage because, I too, have been affected by it. However, men don’t know what they can and cannot do, and are now afraid of doing anything that can be misconstrued. Being romantic now has a whole new meaning and can be perceived in a very different way. Again, I am happy the movement is shaping up the future of respect and honor of women, but being overly cautious has its downfalls. Men feel that being spontaneous now requires discussion beforehand.
- We are set in our ways. We are unable to bend or be flexible. We have become accustomed to what we want, when we want it, and can’t make space or time for someone or something new.
- We want complete alignment if we do “find” it. That means the same values, family needs, income, ability to take time off, travel and enjoy life. If someone doesn’t fit into that exact mold, why give up what we want and need when we are fully capable and happy being alone?
- Looking at someone in their 60’s, let’s face it, isn’t always the most attractive. Men I’ve interviewed have said, “I just don’t find her attractive” which is so very sad, as they are clearly only going by outward appearance. In my opinion, women become more beautiful as they become wiser. And to be fair, the major of men are not George Clooney.
Now, let’s get back to the grass comment. There are many types of grass-those filled with weeds, dog poop, grubs and then there are those filled with chemicals, sprays and everything else to make them look wonderful. People tend to think
Yes, the grass may be greener, but what is really under the surface is what counts. The foundation of the soil and the nutrients underneath are key to success.
I wish you love and success in finding joy in a partner.
Lori Mendelsohn is a matchmaker in the Milwaukee area. Her business is www.smartfunnysingle and she has over a dozen marriages under her belt with one engagement pending. She uses her intuition and knowledge of the human condition to match singles.